Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So much rum. So many feels.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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