i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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