your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
