i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
