They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
