Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
