Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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