my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
