hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
