would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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