I heard we made out
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
