But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
