I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
