worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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