What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
