In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
