nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
