oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
