Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
