i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
