Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
then he tried to convert me to islam
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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