he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
