Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
only if we run a train.
done.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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