some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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