It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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