actually, I'm a sock model
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
