So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
