$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
