you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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