he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
