i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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