p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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