We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
