I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
