Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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