By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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