dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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