Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
