I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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