it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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