so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
