My friends, they love my intelligence
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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