So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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