How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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