Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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