I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
