Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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