Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
