Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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