no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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