I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
