Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
