oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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