Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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