I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
