Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Houston, we have a blender
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
