can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's not a walk of shame if you run
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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