dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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