apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
