There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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