So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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