honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
