I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
