Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
